Category Archives: The Apprentice

Going to the Dogs

Week 2 of The Apprentice kicked off with a frightening moment – the site of one of the male candidates rushing to get the phone call from Alan Sugar wearing only a pair of lime green y-fronts is the stuff of nightmares, and certainly should have been preceded by a warning that some scenes in the upcoming episode would be disturbing to some viewers.

However it got worse. The task this week was to create a product to appeal to dog owners, and to successfully pitch it to three retailers – a specialist in pet fashions, the pet department at Harrods, and big pet store chain Pets at Home. The key point to note in the task though was that the retail price of what was required was fixed at £29.95, therefore removing the possibility of going for selling a small number of high value items, pointing strongly towards doing something mass market to sell to the high street chain.

Project manager for the boys was Rory a recently bankrupt entrepreneur who was apparently ‘bored of learning from experience’, and Global Brand Consultant Katie Hopkins for the girls.

In the girls camp, things seemed to be well organised, and with everybody working as a team, after one or two wacky ideas, they eventually came up with a flat-pack doggie wardrobe. Over in the boys camp, there was some disagreement.

Last week, the boys had only really won by luck – after problems with purchasing and placement of their mobile stall the girls had lost out last week. This week with the girls better organised, the arguments and tensions in the boys team came to the fore. Rory, mindful of the problems of last week decided that the best management strategy was to treat everybody as five year olds and dictate absolutely everything. For example for the brainstorming session he insisted that everybody else take off their jackets. Then after a big brainstorming of product ideas, at the last minute he threw in, and subsequently picked his own idea. Indeed even when faced with mounting evidence from talking to consumers that a waterproof furniture blanket was a better option, he still stuck with his own idea, a Rambo style Pooch Pouch.

Perhaps the main focus of his team problems was Tre, who is really vocal when he doesn’t agree with something, indeed he’ll even talk over Alan Sugar himself – somewhat of a risky proposition. The relationship degenerated throughout the whole programme, with Tre ending up being taken into the boardroom along with Ifti by Rory when the inevitable happens and the Pooch Pouch fails to appeal to the mass market store, whilst the girls correctly aim for the mass market, and despite a lousy pitch still manage to sell thousands of units.

Now Ifti is perhaps the most interesting aspect of the programme this week. The sum total of his contribution was to almost have a good idea in the brainstorming session, but after that he seems to pretty well shut down. He eventually admits that he is missing his wife and son, although it’s probably as much the realisation that he’s stuck in a house with the rest of the candidates and that if he doesn’t get out soon he’ll end up going potty. Essentially he becomes the first person to fire himself. To be honest I think the guy has had a lucky escape. Although he’s ambitious, he at least is grounded in reality and seems able to balance his work life with his home life. The whole premise of the show is unrealistic in a business sense anyway, as even in the most high pressure situations you are unlikely to be totally isolated for twelve weeks unless you are in very specific careers. Certainly I take the fact that he essentially got himself out as a plus point for an employee that is well grounded, rather than totally immersed in the kind of management, sales and marketing rubbish that some of the others spout – usually before they do something totally idiotic. Anyway, once Ifti had gone, Sugar didn’t let the other two off, and ultimately it was Rory that went, with, as is often the case with the vocal candidates, Tre being left to fight another day.

I have to say that in this situation, it was exactly the right decision. Rory was one of the two ex-public school boys who were shown last week comparing old school ties, and sizing up the quality of the totty amongst the female candidates. However when it came down to it, to quote an ex-work colleague, he had about as much managerial skill as a tin of beans, giving an archetypal demonstration of all the best ways to annoy and demotivate your employees. True there are times when teams need a firm hand to get them back on track, but starting off by dictating what they should wear in a meeting, really isn’t the way to go.

Apprentice 3 Round 1

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Having lost both Michelle Dewberry and Tim Campbell this year, Alan Sugar is back looking for Apprentice number 3.

This time around, the series is going out on BBC1, and with two additional candidates, but aside from that it is much the same, even down to using parts of the soundtrack from 24 as incidental music during the programme. In fact it was a bit of deja-vu when Sugar did his boardroom introduction speech – although I guess if it works, why bother to change it?

Looking down through the profiles of this years candidates they are a real mixed bunch. There are two car salesmen, an ex-soilder, a couple of entrepreneurs, managers and sales managers from various industries, and a quantum physicist. The initial champagne get-to-know-you reception was as usual a cringe making effort – although the real jaw dropping moment was saved for the ‘You’re Fired’ show that goes out immediately after the main show on BBC2, where we see the public school educated candidates initially comparing their old school ties, and then discussing the quality of this years female candidates – and concluding that they were picked more for their business skills! The attitude of the boys is again highlighted when after initially splitting the teams into men and women, at the last minute swaps the project managers, leaving the boys being managed by one of the women. As a team, the boys seem to have many more problems gelling than the girls, but thanks to a spectacular purchasing disaster worthy of the pizza’s last year, the girls team lose.

The first task is a basic selling task, which as much tests how everybody works as a team. This time around it’s selling coffee on the streets. Each team has a fixed stall, and a mobile stall, and the idea is to make as much profit as possible. Both teams manage to turn a profit, and through the ebb and flow of the day manage to sell about the same amount, however thanks to the previous mentioned purchasing disaster, the overheads on the girls team leave them with a much smaller profit.

Looking at the show, I’m pretty certain that we haven’t seen much of whoever will be the final winner. Although the loud brash characters usually feature pretty highly during the early stages of the series, with Michelle and Tim they were certainly not either brash or loud, but were consistent throughout the series, and only came to the forefront during the later stages of the series. Although I’m sure it takes a certain level of arrogance and self-belief to get onto the programme, it is also clear that keeping your head down in the early stages is by far the best tactic. It is also worth noting that Sugar repeatedly says that he is not looking for a salesman, he wants managerial and organisational skills too – and this often seems to be where the candidates with more of a sales leaning fall down.

As with Paul Torrisi in series 1 and Syed Ahmed in series 2 there is a stand out character in Tre Azam who argues with Jadine his project manager throughout the task. Having said that, he got off to a bad start with Sugar after persuading his team to pick the name of one of his former companies as the name of their team – Sugar forces the team to pick a new name.

To be fair, although she leads in the winning team, Jadine doesn’t get off to a good start either. In the boardroom meeting at the end of the programme, when asked how the project went, she pretty well immediately starts criticising her team members – which earns a swift rebuke from Sugar.

The project manager of the other team, Andy Jackson took the rap for his teams failure, basically because he failed to manage the team properly. He was somewhat forced to take the poison chalice of being the first project leader by the rest of the boys team. After the swap of project managers, his team messed up the purchasing, with Sophie the quantum physicist going and trying to buy ‘only’ 200 litres of milk. Bear in mind their prediction of sales was for 1000 cups of coffee, so it doesn’t take much time to work out that she is proposing to have 200ml of milk per cup – and Andy tells her to get 20 litres instead – she comes back with 65 litres, plus 400 confectionary bars that they decided to buy on the spur of the moment too. It’s worth highlighting at this point that the estimate of 1000 cups was actually based on the maximum number of cups the machine could produce in the time, not any estimate of sales. Another black mark for the project manager. When Gerri suggests taking the mobile stall to a nearby market – filled with coffee shops who are all selling coffee cheaper than the team things start to look even worse, and then Andy just decides to cut his losses and pull the mobile stall altogether, and effectively his fate is sealed. The other team, by having the mobile stall moving around pull in much better sales on the road. Since Andy’s team had a much more lucrative fixed location, if they had managed to make money from the mobile stall in the same way, as a result of their inability to gel, it may well have been one of the boys team in the taxi heading home.

So we’ve had a good dose of utterly cringe making moments, including the regular pleasure of the meetings to pick the team names – Eclipse and Stealth in case you’re wondering. We’ve also pretty early on had some entertaining screw ups – a quantum physicist who seems to like a lot of milk in her coffee for example. We’ve also had a whole load of pretty predictable sales speak and management rubbish spouted by the contestants, and to round it all off we had the firee grovelling for another chance – and that was just week 1. There are another fourteen people to be fired before we get to the winner – can’t wait for next week.