All posts by Beth

I'm a Canadian crochet-obsessed mum living in the UK who used to make a living teaching English to teenagers. Current distractions: babies, baking and baby sign language!

The Dark Tower finishes – or does it?

First, two things.

One – I apologise for not appearing more often on the blog! Life has taken over any spare time that I once had…

Two – if you are reading Stephen King’s Dark Tower series, but haven’t finished yet, skip this post! I will be revealing all!!

So – The Dark Tower. As a long term fan of King’s work, I’ve been looking forward to the last book since my brother introduced me to the series when I was a teenager – but negelected to tell me that not all of the books had been written yet! I pounced on ‘Wizard and Glass’ when it came out. In fact, I took it with me on my first field trip as a teacher, and as a consequence remember nothing of the 4 hour coach trip to Edmonton… It was partly that it had been so many years since I had read ‘The Waste Lands’ and needed to re-introduce myself to the ka-tet, but also that the story of Roland’s first love was so powerful – I have rarely resented anything half as much as having to return to reality in the midst of the story when we arrived in Edmonton…

I had a similar reaction when ‘Wolves of the Calla’ was given to me as a Christmas present last year. I think Richard knows the look now – ‘if you bother me in the middle of this book I may do you some serious harm’ – and leaves me alone to inhale the story. ‘Inhale’ really isn’t the right word – ‘drinking in’ isn’t the right phrase, either – it’s almost like I suck it in through my pores. Anyway. So when I received ‘Song of Susannah’ and ‘The Dark Tower’ from my parents-in-law for Christmas this year, I knew that Richard was in for some long, chilly looks and a lot of silence from his wife in the next week or so… Fortunately, I’m an early riser (our furry alarm clock helps – she goes off at about 6.30, even on weekends and holidays…) and he’s not, so I tended to read for about three hours before I heard stirring upstairs, and finished both novels well before New Year. In fact, I was well into book 7 before I realised I was finished book 6 – just picked up the next one and kept reading. (Is that how chain-smokers feel??) Not having read them separately lead to an interesting discussion with a former student the first week back at school. He has only relatively recently discovered the series, and was determined to beat me to the post (I won, ha-ha!!) but we did have good discussion on the quality of ‘Song of Susannah’. Both of us felt that it was somewhat of a transitional story, and that the writing in of King as a main character could have been done differently, and somewhat better. Having said that, I do understand (I think – I wouldn’t dare to presume!!) what King was trying to do. He says himself that it wasn’t until well into his writing career that he realised that most, if not all, of his fiction was interrelated in some way. Some direct links are, of course, ‘Salem’s Lot with Pere Callahan in ‘Wolves of the Calla’, and, of course, the reference to Dolores Claiborne killing her husband in Jessie’s flashback to the ‘incident’ with her father during an eclipse in ‘Gerald’s Game’. But to write yourself into the main story itself… Smacks a bit too much of ‘deus ex machina’ to me, although King does treat it with humour and an acknowledgement of the way in which it might be viewed by fans…

My main problem and disappointment (I struggled very hard not to be disappointed with this, but I haven’t succeeded…) with Susannah is, in fact, the way she goes out of the series in ‘The Dark Tower’. I know the girl has had a really rough life, but to have her end up in a world with both another Jake an another Eddie and the have them perfect, not strung out, not hell bent on gunsliging, and for them to be brothers? Even for someone who gave birth (even vicariously) to a monster and to whom is due some happiness as a reward for all her pain, this seems to be a cheat of a life. She knows it’s not her Eddie or her Jake when she goes through the door, and she goes anyway. I know that options for her survival were limited if she stayed with Roland, and I know that she felt Roland was responsible for Eddie’s and Jake’s deaths and all that, but it felt like cheating somehow, to have her alive and kicking and with her heart’s desire when Roland has to start all over… I just feel that it didn’t end well for her. Roland having to do it all again – I get that. That seems right, for someone so driven to have to do it again and again until he gets it right, but Susannah’s finish doesn’t feel right to me.

Having said that, I was intensely curious as to what Roland would find at the top of the tower. (Well, who wouldn’t be – it’s only been plugged since the beginning of the series…) And to be perfectly frank, I’m not sure any other ending would have fit. Other than, of course, not letting us know, and finishing with Roland entering the tower and the door slamming shut. I do think that it’s fitting that, having written seven books (or more, depending on how you view the body of King’s work) about the journey, that it would finish with a continuation of that journey. And what difference would having the Horn of Eld with him make on this journey? Would it help him to remember the face of his father more clearly? Would it prevent the birth of Mordred? Would it alleviate the need for the Drawing of the Three? And what kind of story would it be without these characters?

I do think that that King’s accident has had an effect on these closing novels – it’s given him a way to kill off Jake, for one – and I’m not sure that it’s been a positive effect. Having said that, would any conclusion to a series with twenty years of cult followers have a satisfactory ending? In some ways, it’s all in its perception by the reader. And what piece of fiction doesn’t have that burden? I look forward to rereading these in the years to come and seeing if my delights and disappointments continue. I do feel that Roland and his ka-tet will be good friends for a long time to come.

Song of Susannah (The Dark Tower) The Dark Tower VII: The Dark Tower

Just surfin’…

Just surfin’ the ‘net when I should be doing other things, and came across The Advertising Slogan Generator. You know how, just randomly, sometimes non-sentient computers can get things right? Loaded it up, and the random slogan posted was…

…wait for it…

‘We Do Mediocrity Right.’

How true is that???

Check out some of my alternative names:
I am alternatively known as Dolly Loamsdown of Great Smials (in Hobbitton), Anaranë Tur-anion (in Elvish), my band is known as The Venemous Dog Method, and my children shall be known as Gali Licaelia (girl), Keyle Halet (boy), or Berlancar Isobe (gender-neutral – YOU work that one out…).

This is the freakish part – I remind you that this is TOTALLY random, and I did not have to type in where I was from. In fact, I gave my name as ‘Beth’ and my favourite colour as ‘chartreuse’…

My Pokéname is Humnerd, and I live in the prairies of Alberta. 15 gazillion (or so) users of the Internet, and they get that one right… My other characteristics are a bit cool, too. I quote: “You can puke Dr. Pepper. You can breathe acid. You have intimate knowledge of kung fu. You can spit Mr. PiBB. You can resist tahini. You can shoot sledgehammers. You can drink poison. ” Wouldn’t it be nice to be able to puke something that doesn’t taste of, well, vomit? And how did they know about the tahini incident… ?

My other personality is a pirate wench named Filthy Beatrice Bonny who works at the Broken Hippogiff Cellar. I was also part of a ground battle in Canada code-named ‘Eternal Guard’, and when I’m making a little extra cash by driving a taxi, I go by the name of Joomìtedie Brown.

Just think – how else might the Witness Protection Program come up with alternative identities for their clients??

On second thought, don’t answer that…

Summer time is here again (well, at least in terms of the holidays…)

(Title reference – checkout the UK’s weather recently…)

Well, yesterday was the last day of school, which means that summer holidays have FINALLY arrived here. Amazingly, I am assured by colleagues that this is actually an EARLY breakup. I’m sorry, but having been born and raised in North America, I will always resent having to teach in July…

I haven’t posted in a while because, being the last few weeks of school, things have been incredibly busy. There’s been Sports Day (or rather Sports Afternoon, as it was only from lunch onwards…) on July 1 where we hoped that the heavens would not open and drown our release from class. And it didn’t although it was a very close thing at times…

There was also the Duke of Edinburgh award practise trip on the 10 and 11 July, where we DID get rained on whilst tramping about the English countryside with huge packs on our backs. For those of you who don’t know what the D0fE award is, find out more at their website. I had a vague idea of what was involved, but I now have a huge respect for people who can navigate around the countryside with just a compass and a map. (My offer of bringing along my GPS was recieved with a large amount of scorn and a long explanation of why they were inferior to map-and-compass navigation…) I felt sure on the Saturday that if I hadn’t been accompanied by people who knew what they were doing, I would have been stuck out there for days! I was also extremely nervous before the trip (having been warned before agreeing to go as a requisite staff member that there was at least 20 km of walking involved over the weekend) that I would be found huddled up on some forest trail having a huge asthma attack while the air ambulance was called in to rescue me. I was pleaseantly surprised to find that due to some (what I considered to be inferior) walking routes around our house and a concerted effort to lose some weight, I was in better shape than I thought and fared rather well on the weekend. The long trek on Sunday probably did my flabby muscles much good after the amazingly long trek on Saturday, and the only residual effects were a knot in my calf muscle that went away sometime on Wednesday… Oh – and it was more like 35 km of walking, due to a miscalculation of the length of the trails planned, and the fact that we got lost at least 3 times on Saturday…

This last week has been a bit strange in all. Being the last week of school, there’s a certain amount of the ‘goodbye factor’ mixed in with exhaustion and the excitement of the coming holiday. My friend Jo has had this ‘funny feeling’ on the last day of term for the last few years now, and it’s something I can identify with. No matter how much you’ve been looking forward to the last day of school and the summer holidays, you always feel a bit sad on the last day. There’s the favourite classes you won’t have again, the colleagues who are leaving the school for one reason or another, and a certain amount of uncertainty over what, exactly, you are going to do with all this free time on your hands for the next six weeks! For me, this is always mixed in with a bit of panic, thinking that maybe I haven’t done all the paperwork I was supposed to, etc… And this year, for the first time, I also suffered my first beesting! Seems a trivial thing to mention, but not having been stung in living memory, I was shocked by how much it hurt, as well as the after-effects. The insect in question got stuck under my watchband (it had been on my shirt, and got stuck when I brushed my hand down my shirt), and so I was stung on the inside of my left wrist, twice. And yes, it was a bee, rather than a wasp – I think it gor two stings in simply because it was stuck, and rather panicky itself… To top it all off, this happened in class, and so the last impression I gave my extremely good top set year 9 class was of me crying like a baby (that mother HURT!) and running off to the nurse. And coming back smelling like a chip shop, because the best way to treat it, apparently, is to put vinegar on the sting which takes out the venom. It works like a charm, but it still swelled up and STILL itches like crazy… SIGH. Still, I’ll be seeing them around again next year, and although I won’t be teaching any of them, hopefully I’ll be able to prove I’m not as crazy as I appeared to be this week…

Still, despite my reservations, roll on summer holidays!!

Cake Log One

This is mostly for Mom, but also for those people interested in cakes…

Mom – I tried to do the Pinata cake that I told you about this afternoon, but I obviously did something wrong with the chocolate shell, because it wouldn’t come out of the bowl! I think it had something to do with too much chocolate for the size of bowl and not enough oil inside the bowl to make it slip out easily. When I followed the instructions for putting a hot towel on the outside of the bowl to unstick it and make it slip free, all I succeeded in doing was melting the bottom of the chocolate shell and making it stick even more to the bowl than before! Anyway, here’s some pictures of the process. All that happened was I had to decorate teh cake that was going to be inside the shell, which ended up being rather nice anyway.

If you are wondering, the plate says ‘But I want to have my cake AND eat it’; a sentiment I have often… 🙂

And for some reason the pictures are in the wrong order. Obviously, no strawberries comes before some strawberries…

Canadiana – The Vinyl Cafe stories

It must be the proximity to Canada Day, but I feel rather nostalgic for all things Canadian at the moment. Flipping through my reading journal, I came across an entry for a rather good collection of stories by a broadcaster on the CBC called Stuart McLean. He has a radio show called Vinyl Cafe, and one of the weekly features is a new tale about a regular family to which sometimes irregular things happen. These people, Dave, Morley, Stephanie, Sam, Galway the cat and Arthur the dog, have become neighbours and friends to those who listen to McLean’s weekend radio show. And it’s not just that these stories will make you howl with laughter (listening to Dave Cooks the Turkey almost made me drive off the road one Christmas holiday), they also make you think about how much you value your own family, because they love each other so very much, imperfections and all.

I think what makes them so funny, and so touching, is the closeness of the observations of their daily lives. It makes you look at your own life, and think, ‘Do I really do anything quite so ridiculous as that?’, to which the answer is, ‘Of course I do. I just didn’t look at it that way before.’ For example, Dave has perfectly good reasons for wanting to toilet train the cat (as anyone who has experienced letting a cat in and out of the house in the dead of night during a Canadian winter will know), but observed by McLean, his efforts are incredible at times, but also endearing because they are, well, quite logical when you think about it. And although Morley is, in many ways, a long-suffering wife she also has some quirks. What mother can’t identify with the envy she feels when faced with someone else’s ‘perfect’ children? And what mother does not then feel the urge to make her own offspring perfect? The paper plates and glued-down corners of bedsheets which result are her own fault…

One of the things that amazes me about McLean’s writing is his ability to pick up on a deatil of someone’s life and then change the course of the story so that the detail is just the start of a much larger adventure for the main characters. The story which starts with Dave toilet training the cat is actually about Brenda, Dave’s cousin, and not really about Dave’s struggle with Galway at all. It does not surprise me at all that McLean now teaches writing at a university in Toronto.

Unfortunately, I only own one of the collections of these wonderful stories, but there are now four. All of them are available in Canada, of course, but I could only find two on Amazon.co.uk. Please read them – they are warmhearted stories that are sure to leave you feeling better after a hard day.

Home from the Vinyl Cafe: A Year of Stories ( Stuart McLean)

Stories from the Vinyl Cafe (Stuart McLean)